i can't stand to see you mad, so...ummm...what does yoda do for fun?

Obi-wan Kenobi says:

Thank you, Sarah. I always loved YOU best!

*glares menacingly in direction of Arizona*

*strokes Sarah on head*

*continues glaring in direction of Arizona, whilst stroking Sarah's hair harder and harder*

Sarah: "Um. Ouch!"

Obi-Wan: "Oh, right. Sorry. *cough* DAMN YOU, PHOEBE! DAMMMMNNN YOOOOOUUU!!!"

Sarah: "Uh..."

Obi-Wan: *snaps back to reality* "SARAH! THERE YOU ARE! Oh yes, I was saying...

Anyhow, Yoda, and what's he do for fun. That was the question, wasn't it?"

Sarah: *nods*

Obi-Wan: "Well, I have to tell you, Yoda looks like this all-knowing and wise being in the films, but the truth is that he's REALLY just a wise-ass.

Yeah, that's right. I mean, SURE they give him credit for being so good with the Force and all, but ANYONE who is 693649864587698324 years old and has been practicing with the Force for 693649864587698324 and a half of those years would be good, too! IT'S ALL UNFAIR! UNJUST!! UN--

What's another word that means 'unjust' and 'unfair'?

Oh, nevermind. The point being, *I* am WAAAAYYY better than Yoda. Yes, that's right. And not just because I don't look like a little freak, though that IS a big part of why I'm better.

*tosses head, feathers bangs*

I tell you Yoda TOTALLY takes advantage of his power of the Force. He uses it to play cruel practical jokes on people, like that time he used it to lift my Jedi robe up over my head while I was getting my picture taken with George Lucas on the red carpet of the Episode II opening night.

Oh, THEY ALL laughed it up! Oh, it was SOOOO FUNNY! SOOOOO HILARIOUS!!!

*begins stroking Sarah's hair so hard that he's pulling some of it out*

Sarah: *thinks fast while eyes start to tear up* "KRISPY KREMES!"

Obi-wan: *stops abruptly* "WHERE?!?"

Sarah: *moves to other side of room*

Obi-wan: "Oh, right, I keep a spare Krispy Kreme in the cushion." *pulls stale donut out from between cushions of couch. munches it*

Sarah: *dry heaves*

Obi-wan: "Oh, OH! And that time that Yoda used the Force to move and hide my brand new Podracer! I WAS RUNNING ALL OVER TATOOINE LOOKING FOR IT! There aren't many people living here on Tatooine, so I ended up accusing every one of them of stealing it, and in retalliation, I MAY have detroyed all that they know and love.

Well, needless to say, I spent two months in the slammer for THAT one.

And you know how I found out Yoda had done it?? He drove past me IN MY OWN PODRACER, laughing his little green, big-eared ass off as they were carting me into the prision!

THAT NO GOOD, LITTLE SO AND SO! DO YOU KNOW THEY WOULDN'T LET ME WATCH MOULIN ROUGE THE ENTIRE TWO MONTHS I WAS *IN* THAT GOD-FORSAKEN PLACE?!?

*develops nervous tick*

And of course, the worst prank yet Yoda pulled was when he used the Force to create a Ewan McGregor image once when I was in the mall, and I ended up stripping down naked and running through the Starbucks following the VERY REAL LOOKING IMAGE, where I accidentally knocked over a HUGE industrial sized espresso machine and spilled hot espresso all over myself!

DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK TO HEAL AFTER THAT?? DO YOU KNOW HOW HOT STARBUCKS ESPRESSO IS??? I HAVE SCARS! *SCARS*!!! MY BEAUTIFUL BODY -- RUINED! RUUUUUIIIIIINNNNEEEDDDDDDD!!!!

And to top it all off, after I got the espresso machine off of me by using my lightsaber to blow it to bits, I got up -- ignoring the severe burns to my body -- and ran to catch up with "Ewan" who'd taken a seat at a table with a mysterious man wearing a top hat and holding up a newspaper which blocked his face.

When I got to Ewan, I screamed, "I WAS MADE FOR LOVING YOU, BABY! YOU WERE MADE FOR LOVING ME!"

Well, Ewan turned around, looked at me, smiled....

I then actually SHIT MY PANTS (despite the fact that I wasn't actually WEARING any pants), and went to sit on his lap (in retropect, a bad move considering the fact that I'd just shat myself), and he just vanished into thin air as I landed with a "splat" in my own pile of poop.

Then the mysterious stranger in the top hat lowered his newspaper, and I saw that evil little green face!

Then he took off his hat, and I saw those hideous huge hairy green ears!

Then, he MOCKINGLY sang, "The only way of loving me, baby, is to pay a lovely fee!"

Then, I jumped across the table to strangle the little jerk, but was grabbed just before I hit him by mall security, who handcuffed me and forced me to ride naked in their little mall security golf cart all the way to the mall security office.

Then, I was thrown into the slammer YET again!

Oh, yes, Yoda thinks he's SOOO funny! YOU'RE GOIN' DOWN YODA!!

*knocks over table, waves lightsaber around threateningly*

YOU. ARE. GOIN'. DOWN!!!"

Sarah: *stares, bewildered*

Obi-Wan: "Oh, and thanks for your concern about how you hate to see me mad, Sarah. I hardly ever get mad, though."