Obi-wan here. Yes, I am blessing you with my presence. Most sentient beings in the universe could only WISH for such luck.

ANY-HOO, I just came here to let you in on the tragic news: There has been a most unfortunate accident involving a lightsaber, my knuckle hairs and a William Shatner CD.

You see, after struggling for 3 hours, trying to get the shrink wrap off my newest Shatner CD, I finally went into a rage had a brilliant idea, and tried using my lightsaber to cut through the most powerful substance in the known universe -- the plastic shrink wrap used to package CDs.

Seems that the shiny metallic security sticker on the CD deflected my lightsaber beam, and yes, *sniffle* I ended up in a horrible accident in which my precious knuckle hairs were singed!! BURNT!! MY PRECIOUS *HAIR*!!

Well, of course, this is a complete devastation. Geneticists everywhere are mourning the loss, as I had promised to donate those precious hairs to several of the top DNA banks in the unverse, who were going to use the DNA to clone -- well, me. Just think of the loss!! There could have been HUNDREDS -- NAY, THOUSANDS -- of Obi-wans ALL over the galaxy! THE UNIVERSE WOULD FINALLY BE MINE TO CONTROL!! AHAHAHAHA!! And Ewan couldn't hide from my massive Obi-wan Army!! HE WOULD FINALLY BE MINE!!!!!

*cough*

Err, in any case, my doctor advises that I should avoid any heavy activity, such as typing, for awhile until the hairs grow back. And I have to wear a band-aid, too!

So, point being that I've probably set myself back SEVERAL weeks what with typing this entry. And I need you staffers to get on your nearest star cruiser and get your asses back to Tatooine so you can type things for me and wait on me hand and foot.

It's been hard! My butler quit two months ago, and the worst part -- he was a DROID! Stupid machines.

Well, I need to get back to relaxing. If you girls could pick up some Krispy Kremes on your way here, that'd be nice. Glazed with spinkles, please. And, oh, a bucket of chicken! And some McDonald's fries. And you'll need some Armor-all -- my pod racer is in SERIOUS need of a waxing.